Oftentimes for business owners and managers the word ‘negotiating’ causes one’s stomach to get queazy. Seasoned leaders can quickly conjure up an event that went sideways and imploded upon them somewhere in their past.
But what if negotiating was a “neutral” emotional event? What if we could go into a negotiating session, whether it was with a client, direct report, boss, etc…, and create a win/win situation?
Here are three things to ponder before your next negotiating session:
1.) Negotiations are opportunities to create win-win outcomes and not win-lose scenarios. Often one if not both parties enter a negotiating session from the perspective of a scarcity mentality. If I don’t get what I want/need first, the other person will stick it to me.
But what if the real challenge is that our expectations need to be adjusted. What would change if we were looking out for the welfare of all instead of creating a winner and a loser? What if we created a safe space for open and honest dialogue?
b.) Do some scenario planning in advance. What do you need as a satisfying outcome? What does the other party need in order to feel valued and appreciated? Oftentimes we do not think through where are the “lines in the sand” prior to getting into a negotiating conversation. Thus negotiations have the tendency to get personal (and painful) in a quick hurry.
c.) Role play some of the options in advance to the negotiation (at least in your mind). If you think through the “what if’s” and play them out in your mind, you will not be caught off guard when you are in the actual negotiating situation. In addition, some new possibilities may emerge that you’d not previously thought of because you’ve spent time in advanced planning.
When we create the opportunity for a ‘win-win’ situation in negotiating, people feel valued and appreciated. This goes a long way in building healthy long-term relationships and it enhances the relational collatoral of the parties involved that may be needed to be called upon at a later date down the road.
If I change the negotiating conversation from a ‘win-lose’ event to more of a ‘win-win event, I may not get everything I desire, but chances are I am going to get a lot more than if I created a ‘winner take all type of event’.
